What is focus? To me, focus is when I direct my attention and my mental and emotional resources towards something. I select where I direct my focus based on my intentions for my life, what kind of experiences I want to have, what atmospheres I would like to make up the fabric of the tapestry of my life.
I enjoy recognizing my focus as very high quality. I say this because it’s true, but here is how I qualify that declaration. I have honed, refined my mental and emotional states so very mindfully, with such care and discernment. In my early adulthood, I was very passionate about meditation, spiritual learning and learning in general. As a result of this, my emotional state is pure and what is left is loving intelligence. Essentially, I dismantled social conditioning and its negative ramifications. And after this dismantling, what was left is love. Loving, peaceful, intelligent focus.
So when I attend to something, I flow love to it, I stream intelligent, peaceful, deliberate thought (and oftentimes a playful sense of humor). Anything that receives my focus can benefit from the powerful, insightful kindness I extend. Oftentimes, my interactions and co-creations are delightfully fruitful, illuminating, and even fun! But sometimes, although my focus is very high quality, it is not well-received by my company. High quality focus can elicit a variety of undesirable reactions. Both undesirable for me AND for my company. The following are some examples of the pitfalls of high quality focus.
Some people I encounter are not used to having such a loving focus being directed at them. It feels good. They delight in the non-judgment, the openness, the loving words and actions. It’s as though these particular people don’t get that from anywhere else (even though it is their own true nature and inherent to their very being - they have not yet accessed it). And they begin to desire to be in my presence to get more of that. And then a dependency is formed. If I am unavailable, a resentment might brew. If I extend focus elsewhere, more resentment. And then I know it’s time for me to remove my focus.
For some, my presence elicits a resentment because they are comparing themselves to me. This is challenging because at times they like/love me and enjoy my company. And at other times, my presence will activate a painful experience inside of them that overtakes their inner atmosphere and seeps out in their words and actions towards me. Then I know it’s time for me to remove my focus. And that can be awkward and difficult, mainly for them.
At other times, directing my focus to others can lead them to overshare. They are so delighted to have the focus that they carry on with so many words, so much sharing, that the value of my focus decreases in their mind and, surprisingly also mine. And then again, I know it’s time for me to remove my focus.
Then there is this category of people who are suspicious of me and I mean, really, what can one do with that? Recently, one of those finally said “you are so consistently loving!” My response was “Yeah I am!”
A high-quality focus is so valuable. I think I’m saying this more for myself than anyone else. To be frank, I enjoy my own focus. For me to share it, to not keep it all to myself, that’s a very great gift. When people say to me “I want to spend more time with you!” Internally I say “yes, I want to spend more time with me too. And I get first dibs.” lol!
I feel, at this time, I am evaluating how I want to direct my high-value focus and like I said in the opening, that all has to do with intentionality, what I wish to create for my life experience. Cheers to myself and to you in being the high value focus in YOUR own life and sharing that with others to your own level of comfort.